Lights out

To the assholes who’ve destroyed the Christmas lights outside my house: MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS. I originally used glass lights; you fucked them up to the sound of “pop pop pop” on the pavement. I purchased LED lights and they were torn down and destroye

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Published December 28, 2006.Lights out

To the assholes who’ve destroyed the Christmas lights outside my house: MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS. I originally used glass lights; you fucked them up to the sound of “pop pop pop” on the pavement. I purchased LED lights and they were torn down and destroyed. To the parents out there: you’re doing a fine fucking job raising your kids. Keep an eye on your little teenage assholes and maybe give them some Ritalin and some bubble wrap to keep them busy. I will never again decorate the outside of my house.

Left in the dark

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