|Published September 13, 2007.|
|Random Acts Of Unkindness|
|To the loose cannon who kicked me in the abdomen on Spring Garden Road on Sunday afternoon,|
Well played, asshole. I greatly appreciated your random, unprovoked kick, followed by an angry stare as if I'd just attempted to throw you into traffic. Your explanation -- that your girlfriend had messed around on you (I cannot imagine why) and you had the blues -- sadly runs contrary to both rule of law and common sense. Next time you feel the need to blow off some steam, I formally suggest putting your fist through a jar of beets, examining the finer points of self-immolation from the comfort of your basement, or any similar activity that will cause as little violent disruption to the lives of private individuals as possible. And, to answer your question: no, I'd rather not shake your fucking hand.
|Incredulous Target of Wanton Assault|