Published February 16, 2006.Round 2

This goes out to "The Young One", the anorexic, pasty skinned, veggie eating, exercising robot that bitched about us voluptuous, sun worshipping, drinking and smoking sexy old bags who have wrinkles.

I am so sorry that you missed out on the times when us late thirties and forty some aged females NOW have lived and continue to.

We went to any place where we could put on our bathing suit, or nothing at all, drink, smoke, tan, have sex and walk into the water just to heighten our tan, oh yes, those were the days, and still are. Unfortunately, you just aren't invited to our places that you would find us now, they are x-rated.

You are our 'child', depending on your age, which you describe yourself and sound as being, yes, you may be one of our kids that are about 15-20 younger who has either left the nest or are still mooching off of us. We still love you though, although you are jealous of the fact that we are in 'Round 2' of what is considered to you as the 'retro times'.

We are so sorry that you are seemingly so disturbed by us. Well, actually we aren't. To be honest sweetheart, we are absolutely flattered that when we walk past you or have you ringing in our booze and cigarettes, you give us the 'evil eye' and look to your other 'young', anorexic, bean sprout munching, stressed out from student loans and tired of exercising to have the body of a toothpick, to only see if she will have shifty eyes too.

I have seen you, quite a few of your type that can't stand that we are still tanned, still curvy and voluptous, getting drunk, having sex, and we even have a couple of wrinkles from lauging and having so much fun over the years that you can't stand us. Why, because you are jealous. Jealous that the only admiration you receive is from grade 6 boys. Men want us in many ways, you see how they look at us, as the 'MILFS' that we are.

Possibly one day it will be "in" to be all that we were and still are and very proud of it and you may have some fun too. Now the secret really is this...we had a blast, still do, and to top it all off for Round 2, we have implants, botox, and hyloform.

I really do feel sorry for you but the truth of the matter is, the next time you go on a produce binge, do yourself a favour and buy two of the largest zuchinies, insert one in your mouth for you jealous talk and the other in another hole to possibly bring you some happiness since you seem so damn miserable.

Sorry that your boyfriends look at our big boobs, curvy hips and butt, and want us.

We just keep coming out on top, it's just our generation baby, it's all about the attitude honey. And I do wish you the best in your future endeavors because as you remain, pasty white, worn out and miserable, think about what life is all about...here's one more for the road...

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming...

Damn, What a ride!!

-MILF