Published December 14, 2006.Skuzzy Landlord

Over the years I have had a number of landlords who fit the stereotype of "skuzzy slumlord" quite nicely but I have NEVER been treated with more contempt than when I moved out of my apartment yesterday. Thank you, Mister Landlord, for booking a construction crew to dig a trench outside the only door my furniture would fit through at seven a.m. the day of my move (despite the fact that I gave you six weeks notice that I would be using that door). Thank you for refusing to clear a space for my movers, forcing them to walk down the block and cross the street with each box they were able to get out of your hellhole. Thank you for nailing the door shut when my movers suggested you halt work for thirty minutes and let them try struggling up the pit you had dug with my furniture. And thank you for laughing in my face when I asked why you would do this without giving me any notice (well... to be fair, you told me at ten p.m. the day before my move to Alberta. As far as I'm concerned, the furniture I wasn't able to get out of the apartment is now stolen property and I sincerely hope that karma bites you on the ass and burns down your precious new building once construction and renovations are finished, you oily prick!

Tyler McKinnon