I am so sick and tired of having to engage in and witness the fake hug. It's ridiculous.
Hey person I just met at a party last weekend: Don't fake hug me when we run into each other on the street. I know you're trying to look cool with your buddies by making it appear as though I'm your friend and you want to make it look like you have so many friends, but don't fuckin' do it. Don't fuckin' give me that wimpy, awkward hug as a greeting. It's disgusting. Hugs are reserved for people I actually care about. I'm not your friend. I don't even know your last name (and I don't even think I know your first name), and I'm pretty sure I've only spoken 3 words to you: "Nice Slayer shirt."
A simple handshake, bow, or curtsy should suffice. Indeed, bowing and curtsying are long overdue for a return to civilized society.
Don't fake hug me, hugtard. Don't do it.
|Everyone You've Fake-Hugged|