I'm an exceptionally helpful, polite cashier to people who treat me kindly, and with respect. This means...
1) Greet me when I greet you. Turn off your iPod, and hang up your phone call. Look me in the eye and ask me how I'm doing when I do the same to you. If you ignore me, or if you respond in grunts, I have methods of revenge. Expect poorly packed bags and irritatingly coin-heavy change.
2) Have your money ready. Put it in my outstretched hand; don't you dare throw it on the counter. This isn't the Macdonald bridge. If there's a big queue, don't spend an hour trying to get rid of your pennies. This is what banks are for.
3) The debit machine isn't broken, you're just using it wrong. If you want cash-back, tell me up front. No, you can't pay with a cheque, nor can you pay in Euros. On that note, if you pay in American money, it is unreasonable of you to expect your change to be in American dollars.
4) Lottery fiends, stop wasting my time. I don't want to help you fill out a 6/49 card, bring your damn glasses and learn how to do it properly. I have other people to serve, I don't have that much time to commit to you. If you want a scratch card, don't demand I "dig deeper" for the "luckier" one - aren't you embarrassed? This is ANNOYING and it wastes my time.
5) Teach your obnoxious children some manners.
6) Stop showing me the receipt for a product you bought in the adjacent store. I don't care. You aren't going to get tackled by security guards. Hell, we don't even sell those things.
7) If it's not on the shelf, it's not in the store. Don't say, "can't you look out back?" Believe me when I say we don't have any. I don't know when it'll be in, I'm the fucking cashier. Go find the receiver.
8) Don't complain to me about the prices. I have nothing to do with it. I make minimum wage for cripes sake, do you not think I've noticed the high cost of living?
9) If you change your mind about a purchase and are so lazy as to not want to return it to the shelf, give it to me so a cashier or the merchandiser can restock it. Don't hide it in the magazine rack.
10) If the store is closing, GTFO. Don't shop up until a minute before we lock the doors. You're keeping an entire store's worth of employees in there longer than they need to be. These are people with family, friends, and plans. Hurry the fuck up. When we start turning the lights out, it's a hint.
I sound overly negative, so I will end this bitch on a lighter note by saying most customers are tolerable. Some are even pleasant!
|In need of nice, quiet office job|