To all you people whose time is sooo valuable that you can't hold the elevator door for 2 or 3 seconds, and who pretend not to see the person hurrying for the elevator while the door slides shut: I hope you hit every red light on the way home. Twice. I hope every time the light turns green, there is a cyclist in front of you waiting to turn left. I hope old ladies pushing walkers cross every crosswalk in your path, and I hope the sign changes from "slow" to "stop" every time you approach roadwork. May the highway of your life be devoid of passing lanes and populated by old guys in hats driving 50. Assholes.