Thank you so much for scheduling your wedding on my birthday. I understand it is your day and I am slowly getting over it. However, could your wedding be any tackier? Could you be anymore incondierate? Not only is the wedding dinner a buffet (yes- I have to carry my plate up to a fucking steam table in heels) but my husband and I are both vegetarian and so if I was willing to get drunk and cheat and eat some animal (and their byproducts) I'm fucking lactose intolerant!!! Your wedding is a fucking slaughter of factory animals and the milk that is meant to feed their young! What the hell am I supposed to eat at this tack fest?? Not only that, but I have to subject my toddler and baby to this. What the hell am I supposed to feed my daughter? So, I will be separated from my husband because he will be sitting at your shitty head table listening to your godawful mouth noises because you can't keep your damn mouth shut when you are eating, we'll be starving, our daughter will be hungry, and I can't even have a drink because I breastfeed our son. To top it off, it's my birthday! What the hell??? At least a few years ago when my brother ruined my birthday by being a jackass he did it intentionally because he's an asshole.
|disgruntled wedding guest|