So I’m having a smoke on my deck Monday night and I saw you in my driveway. I said hey, how’s it goin? cuz I figured you were a bottler, but you quickly got up and mumbled something about plants and took off down my driveway with a big pot. You left a big mess of dirt in my driveway as you were stealing my plants, who the fuck does that? I thought gardeners’ just asked, I would have been fine with it. But you left a big mess of dirt and holes all over the place, and I noticed you jacked a whole bunch of other plants and left some half dug up. I’m sure this is about the most badass thing you’ve ever done since I scared you off with a friendly greeting. That and you know pillaging my backyard isn’t cool. I walked after you just to ask if you’d clean up the mess, but you ran off into your backyard.
So how about you come back during the day, clean up the mess and give me back some plants.
Otherwise, as you read this I’m mounting a raiding party on YOUR plants. We’ll put Genghis Khan to shame.
|Your soon-to-be Genghis Khan-like neighbour from around the corner.|