1. Thou shalt stay On Topic. Unless the original Bitch is lame. Or you have something funny to say. Or somebody else goes Off Topic first. Then all bets are off.
2. Thou shalt not bitch about other people going Off Topic. For the OnTopic Police are loathesome in the eyes of Tim.
3. Thou shalt have Something To Say. Or be funny. One or the other. Ideally both. Otherwise, STFU.
4. Thou shalt not flog a dead horse, kick a dead dog, or otherwise belabour the same point over and over in every thread until everybody else wants to stab you in the eye with a fork.
5. Thou shalt not call the Office, lest you disrupt the Nap of Tim.
6. Thou shalt respond to bitches in the comments, and not by means of a new bitch. For that would make thee an Attention Whore, and unclean in the eyes of Tim.
7. Thou shalt honour the Bitching Hour. Between the hours of 1AM and 2AM, thou shalt suspend thy bitching, and post not. For he who bitcheth during the Bitching Hour shall be cast out, and flamed, and reviled as a Fake Name Sockpuppet forever.