Published January 07, 2009.Dear Office Idjit:

If the person responsible for ordering items vital to your job specifically gives you a deadline to notify him/her that you require said items, you should probably order them BEFORE this deadline instead of, say, three days later.

Did it ever occur to you that PERHAPS the supplier ALSO has deadlines, and your office manager is trying to get things done for you in a timely FASHION?

What makes you think you're so fucking SPECIAL that I should hold an order back just for YOU, or that I can move mountains and suppliers so you can get your LATE orders filled at the same time or earlier than everyone else?

If you were a) polite about it, b) EVER actually MADE a deadline, c) had some reason why you were late just this once, then MAYBE I *might* be inclined to attempt to circumvent our SUPPLIERS' policies for you, but:

a) I already worked in a full business day's grace into my deadlines for asshats like you b) you are NEVER even within my one day grace period c) everyone else can find 5 minutes in their busy schedules to email me what they need ordered - and most of them do WAY more work than you do, and d) you're a fuckin' ASSHAT

So fuck off and learn what a deadline is or I'll fold yer fucking office supplies until they're all sharp corners and shove them up your ass.

Friday at 12 is not Tuesday at 6