Skinny Bitch

To my moderately overweight freinds: I love you, and I would never want to say anything to hurt you. That's why I don't say this to your face. I know you struggle with your weight, and I try to be supportive, but you sometimes make me feel like you resent me, and that hurts. When we go out to eat together, you usually try to order something healthy like baked fish and steamed vegetables. Then you stare longingly at my fish and chips with extra tartar sauce, and sigh about how lucky I am. I never order desert, even if I want it, because you would make me feel like I was rubbing it in your face. "Oh sure! Order the cheesecake, bitch!" You say it like you're joking. Sort of. You talk about my metabolism as if it was something I won in a lottery. If only you had my metabolism, you too would be able to eat anything you want and never gain a pound. So you tell yourself.

But the truth is, I am not "lucky". I do not have a "fast metabolism". I did not win some kind of genetic lottery that gives me an unfair advantage. I cycle 10 km each way to work every day, summer and winter. I also either run or swim every day, and weight train 3-4 days a week. I play squash once or twice a week, and on weekends I go hiking, cross country skiing, canoeing, or some other outdoor activity. And THAT is why I am thin. Your constant bleating about how unfair it is completely dismisses all my hard work.

I realize that not everyone wants to, or can, be as active as I am. If I am "lucky", it's because I enjoy exercise. If you don't want to work out hard every day, the tradeoff is that you don't get to eat whatever you want. It's not unfair at all. It's perfectly fair. So lay off.

---Your Skinny Friend

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