So I dated you for about a month- we met at a party, you were nice, all over me, really attentive..and then....you got all hot and cold, blaming it on being sick and really busy at work. Unless of course you were demanding to know where I wanted this 'to go', and being uncertain about our 'future' (I dated you a month WTF?) because I wasn't planning the wedding after a week.
but then i found out actually, you'd started hooking up with this wrinkly old hag after we'd been seeing each other for two weeks- and after i'd met her when you invited her and her nine year old son to come along with us to a party! Your creepy comparison shopping aside, it's evil and creepy to bitch about being late to pick me up because you were 'driving' her around etc etc....trying to paint yourself as a super nice guy willing to help out his poor single mom pal while you were really cheating on me with old pussy is so slimy I can't even describe it. At least you'll get that instant-commitment you seemed to want- she's already changed her facebook status, however i see you haven't. classy. Almost as classy as you trying to make me feel sorry for you after i found out about it all through a mutual friend.
I'm glad I dumped you via text you bastard- you don't even deserve actual face to face communication. I hope she gives you old ladies crabs.
ps of course I now will be telling everyone we know the creepy bedroom thing you like but are embarrassed about- I'm talking about the pegging buddy.
---SO much better than the old lady!