Get Outta The Way, Lady

You're attractive and relatively fit. We get it. Now get the fuck off the machine and take your cellphone with you.

Now I know it may be hard for your brain to comprehend, but many of us pay for a gym membership to actually work out. Your loud chats with random girlfriends about getting drunk last night, endlessly scrolling through your iPod songs, texting douchebags, updating your Facebook status and flirting with trainers are all just fine with us. Just don't tie up a machine while you do it. Find a coffee shop...

P.S. This also applies to the out-of-shape dudes who tie up machines doing the minimal workout possible to avoid looking creepy while you stare at girls. Newsflash - you still look creepy. Save money. Try the internet.

---Angry Johnny

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