I love my mother-in-law very much, and and value the great relationship she maintains with me, my wife, and our children. I am not bitching about her. I am writing this to bitch about the hundred fucking Furbys she has arranged neatly on every single shelf or unoccupied surface in her house! Fuck! One of the grandkids bought her one of the adorable little fuckers back when they first came out. Now, everyone gets her one of them for Christmas, and birthdays, and Easter, and May Day and Halloween and every other opportunity they can think of. The little buggers are hard to come by, so everyone in the family makes it a competition to see who can give her the best one for a holiday.

Now, she has a tonne of these fuckers sitting up on her shelves staring down at me. They creep me out! When we go over to her place, she is sitting in the kitchen or whatever holding one in her lap, and she asks my kids if they would like to pet one. They too hate the fuckers, but are nice and get excited and ask for the red one, or the one with the hat, or some such nonsense. For a whole Sunday afternoon we have to sit there with the cute little fucks, pretending it is the best thing in the world. She is a sweet woman, but come on! They're giving me nightmares! Hundreds of noses and beaks staring me down, waiting to way something witty to me. I can only imagine what will happen when some day they all wake from their slumber, unite, and peck the fuck out of all of us. Fucking Hitchcock was on to something.

---Annoyed and Scared

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