Now, she has a tonne of these fuckers sitting up on her shelves staring down at me. They creep me out! When we go over to her place, she is sitting in the kitchen or whatever holding one in her lap, and she asks my kids if they would like to pet one. They too hate the fuckers, but are nice and get excited and ask for the red one, or the one with the hat, or some such nonsense. For a whole Sunday afternoon we have to sit there with the cute little fucks, pretending it is the best thing in the world. She is a sweet woman, but come on! They're giving me nightmares! Hundreds of noses and beaks staring me down, waiting to way something witty to me. I can only imagine what will happen when some day they all wake from their slumber, unite, and peck the fuck out of all of us. Fucking Hitchcock was on to something.
---Annoyed and Scared