To those of you who pour out of the bar at closing time, especially you Tuesday night amateurs: you are drunker than you think and you are louder than you think. Veteran drunkards stagger quietly home. If you're going to invade their watering hole, at least learn from the experts. You like the fact that the bar is a neighbourhood place? Then respect the neighbourhood it's in, for pete's sake, and stop waking me up with your loud, inane chatter about who's sleeping with who, or how drunk you are or whatever the hell else. You may know how to silkscreen, eat soyanaise and ride a bike with a milk-crate strapped to it, but at closing time you're no different from a shit-faced jock hollering his way home from the liquordome.
---Sleepless on Maynard