Cat stealers?

So last week my cat, Maxbane, went out for his evening stroll around my garden and never came back. I've searched high and low, notified every service/website I can think of, and put up about 120 LOST CAT posters. I could have reasoned he was exploring Halifax, or stuck in a nearby shed. I could have simply, albeit anxiously, waited for him to be found. But everyone I talk to takes one look at his picture and assumes that he was-- get this-- stolen.


Who the hell knowingly steals people's pets! I'm appalled so many people are comfortable with the suggestion. I've never actually known anyone who's intentionally stolen a cat. It's disgusting. I've put hundreds of dollars into this creature. He's been my constant companion and source of relaxation, laughter and consolation. To think that anyone would ever be so selfish and inconsiderate as to rob me of my cat has left me crying in rage. It doesn't matter how adorable or friendly an animal is. People bond with their pets. Stealing a pet is hitting on a married man, except it's not risqué or "oh-you-bad-girl!". It's evil.

If you find a pet, take it to the SPCA. They won't kill it, honey. They'll probably just find its owner. And if they don't? THEN YOU CAN KEEP IT.

---Maxbane's Actual, Real, Entitled and Infuriated Owner

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