Sputter!!! Jjjust a jjjean jjjacket! It's not JUST a jean jacket. That piece of history has accompanied me on my travels for over 30 years! It's a classic! A goddamn artifact! In the history of me, it is the one thing that symbolizes everything I am about. Every rip, every stain, every worn patch tells a story about my life! Me and my jacket, the places we have been, the people we have met and the events that have shaped us are all written on that jacket! Would you have me thrown aside because I am battered and scarred? You don't do that to something that is loved. I love my goddamn jacket! I am going buried in that jacket! In fact, I going to put a condition in my will that no one gets a dime if I am NOT buried in that jacket. So, think about THAT before you fulfill your promise to incinerate it one day!

Is nothing SACRED anymore??!!