Dear Nova Scotia...

Dear Nova Scotia, you have the worst drivers on the planet. Here are some basic tips to help you stop sucking so bad at driving: 1.) When traffic is backed-up up at rush hour…pay attention! Do not block the intersection with your car, preventing any flow of traffic. If you can’t pay attention when driving, hire a chauffer.
2.) Right lane = slow. Left lane = pass/fast. Do not ride in the left lane unless you’re going fast, or passing people (and passing does not constitute crawling past another vehicle at 3km over the speed limit).
3.) When passing a highway merge on the right…move over! Do not continue in the right lane, with no-one else around you, blocking vehicles from merging into traffic.
4.) Stop at crosswalks, stop signs, and lights…not in the middle of the road! I know you think you’re being nice by letting that pedestrian, cyclist, etc cross the street but you’re really being dangerous. Eventually you’ll cause an accident that may damage a vehicle or kill someone.
5.) When you see that your lane is ending ahead (because of construction or whatever)…change lanes now! Do not wait until the last possible moment, when you’re squished between the traffic in the open lane and the pylons, to force your way into traffic.

and while I’m at it…

Dear Nova Scotia, you have the worst traffic system on the planet. Here are some basic tips to stop your traffic system from sucking so bad:
1.) Stop trying to make two lanes into three (or three into four). Adding more lines on the street does not physically increase the size of the street itself.
2.) Stop adding a second lane within the last 20 feet of an intersection that continues with one lane on the other side. This doesn’t help; it just creates confusion about who has the right-of-way once they cross that intersection.
3.) Stop with all the goddamn arrows! People should be smart enough to figure out which way to turn and which lane to be in for themselves. You have the worst drivers in the world, so obviously this arrow tactic isn’t working. Knock it off.
4.) Parking lanes and traffic lanes should not be combined…ever.
5.) At a 4-way intersection, designating the left lane as “left turn and straight only” and the right lane as “right turn only” is brainless. You’re forcing anyone travelling through the intersection to wait behind every…single…vehicle that’s turning left…against oncoming traffic.
---New Resident

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