There used to be a time when I could walk down Spring Garden Road and only have to contend with beggars and the inane ramblings of the Harbour Hopper tour guides, and that was fine. Now it seems there is a new problems on the streets though: Juggalos.

Yes, the face-painted followers of the Insane Clown Posse, are in the words of one of their hilarious songs "getting me pissed". Every time I walk by a group (typically around Park Lane or the Public Gardens) they seem to be yelling nonsensically, cursing, smoking and in general looking ridiculous. Yes, no worse than any bar line-up on a given night, but I just don't get their shtick. They all just look like a bunch of lost puppies that were abandoned by their owners for being too god-damn ugly.

Now besides my bigotry, my main point of this bitch is that they must be banned from congregating, in the name of public safety. Not that I think they will ever initiate any violence, but I fear one day myself or another like-minded Haligonian will walk by and keel over laughing at their ways. This may be enough to unleash the Juggalo fury, and the consequences will be dire. Until then, here's hoping I don't end up on a drunken tear and start asking them about miracles and how "fuckin magnets" work. —A Scientist