To a certain pizza place:

I order my usual about 3 times a month, Veggie pizza with pineapple, extra tomatoes, and extra cheese. Every single time, it comes delivered to me absolutely drenched!

I call to tell you my pizza is undercooked and every time you tell me it's because the toppings I chose are juicy. I know that, but wouldn't you have any common sense to cook the pizza longer! I've had to get a credit from you about 4 times in the past 2 months. The other day, I told you to cook it longer so that it's cooked, you said no problem. Again, it comes to me with the cheese half burnt and a pile of juice in the middle of it! I'm sick of this, you fucking tools.

Here's a thought: Drain the pineapple and tomatoes before putting it on the pizza! I'm ordering somewhere else, your loss! —Sick of drinking my pizza