A couple weeks ago, a family member borrowed and messed up one of our cars by backing into one of our guest's cars. Although family member offered to have it fixed,the guest fixed it (but not back to 100%) himself and family member did not insist on having it put 100% right professionally. Right away, I was not impressed, if I messed up a stranger's car, I would be paying to fix it up to the condition it was in before. So if he didn't insist on getting the stranger's car 100% fixed, I figured he would at least be ashamed enough to put ours 100% right- especially given that we lend him the car virtually whenever he asks, even though it nearly always inconveniences us in some way since we end up ferrying him or the car back and forth so family member doesn't have to go out of his way to get it. THEN my silly husband goes and says they can try to pop the bumper dent out themselves. I knew it wouldn't look like it should when finished. The bumper is still dented, and the touch up paint looks terrible. I asked husband if he was okay with that, and he said yes rather unconvincingly. I know he is not okay with it, but he would rather deal with his sour grapes than ask family member to pay for the repair because it would be awkward.
What rots my socks more than anything is that family member just asked if he can borrow the car again. To me, this is an emphatic NO. He seems like a good driver when you are in the car with him, but has had a total of four accidents, two major with his own vehicle and two minor with other peoples' vehicles. Husband is reluctant to have the "you can't borrow our car because we can't afford it if anything major happens" talk because it would uncomfortable. So instead, we will be driving them around to do their errands when they need. I guess it's not my blood family so I don't understand, but it still seems unreasonable to me.
Combined, they make almost as much as Husband and I, they just need to buy their own damn car already. —Displeased Wifey