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Monday, January 31, 2011

The Sweet Smell of Revenge

Posted on Mon, Jan 31, 2011 at 11:13 AM

You let someone from work stay with you until his utilities got hooked up which was very nice of you. It was only 3 days, though so don't act like you're a fucking martyr... especially since it was all your husbands idea. Then you come to work and complain to EVERY SINGLE person in the office that your houseguest had a bowel movement in the washroom and then lit a match hoping to disguise the smell. On and on and on you went about the smell, how stupid it was to light a match and how you didn't want to go in there the rest of the day. Did you expect him to use the front lawn like a dog? Did you really have to discuss this with all of his co-workers? Geez, at least he tried something to cover the smell. I suppose your shit doesn't stink, does it? Well, I know what does. I notice that you leave your work shoes at work (like a lot of us do) but you leave yours tightly wrapped in not one but two bags and with a bottle of foot spray. I sent an e-mail to everyone in the office offering $50 to anyone that would dare to do a 10 second deep inhale into your shoe bag. So far no one has made it past 5 seconds without gagging but it sure makes for some funny nicknames for you. Can't wait to see you after your little vacation is over, Funky Feet. —Payback's a bitch, bitch

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