Plenty Of Uggg

You had a good profile, decent enough picture, and our emails back and forth made me want to meet you. Oh God, what a mistake. Now I know why people complain about online dating. We agreed to meet at a coffee shop on Friday afternoon after your classes. You were 15 minutes late and said it was because you had to take a bus from campus... heck, it's only a 10 minute walk. Seeing you at first walk through the door and up the stairs, I though, oh I hope it's not him. But when you came up and said hi, I nearly dropped dead. This was not love at first sight. The first question on my mind was "How'd you go bald so fast?" In your picture you had hair on your head and were clean shaven. In reality, you had a significant amount of extra fleshy parts, were bald, and had a huge goatee. Is there a way to turn your head upside down... at least then you'd have hair on top. You proceeded to go on about how the bus was late, your profs suck, you're hungry and want to grab a pizza, and kept nagging me to go eat with you. I'm sorry, but you lost me the minute you walked in and didn't look like your picture. You're not fooling anyone with that act. Try being honest, having a better attitude, and walking (it'll help with that extra flesh). Yeah I might be a little superficial, but at least my picture is recent and legit. Good luck to the chick that gets stuck with you. —Prettified

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