Dear Roommate

Yeah, I hear you creeping out to look for more cookies in the middle of the night you dick. I hid them. Thanks for drinking a litre of my toddler's homogenized milk with the ones you stole earlier too. And that time you devoured half a loaf of my bread after I was asleep and I had nothing to eat for breakfast in the morning. It's not my fault you spend all your money before you get it. You don't even chip in on the utilities even though you left the heat on and your window open all winter. And the TV and radio are never off even when you're not home. I felt bad for you when you first moved in now I can't wait to move! Oh and stop stealing our towels from the bathroom just cause you can't be bothered to do your laundry. Fuck. —Disgruntled Doormat

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