I would also appreciate it if you stopped telling horrible lies about your family. Nobody beats you. Nobody fucking told you that you can't do this or that because you're gay. Stop with this shit. They're my family too and when you tell people bad (untrue) things about them, it often comes back to me.
Also, I don't care if you like going downtown all the time and drinking. But, it frustrates me that I always make plans with you, and then at the very last minute you make up some stupid excuse along the lines of "I'm tired" or "I forgot I had to do this". Don't make plans with me if you have no intention of actually committing to them. OK? Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love you. We've been friends forever, I'm just getting really tired of your shit. I'm getting tired of trying to figure out what's true and what isn't and I'm getting even MORE tired of having to defend your shit. It's all going to come back and haunt you one day. Karma is a BITCH. Please wake up already. —Your Favourite Cousin