Liar Liar Pants on Fire

My wonderful cousin, I love you dearly and absolutely love the fact that you are openly gay, especially within our specific community. However, you're an attention needing nuisance. I can't speak about my day, my life, a date I went on or anything with you! It's like you don't hear me and somehow always manage to go off about yourself and how wonderful you are. Secondly, STOP LYING. PLEASE STOP! I've never met anyone who tells as many lies per minute as you do. Do you honestly think people are stupid enough to believe you? Everyone just nods their heads and smiles because it's easier to let you go on and on and on about yourself than put you in your place. However, I have put you in your place hundreds of times. For some reason it doesn't work.

I would also appreciate it if you stopped telling horrible lies about your family. Nobody beats you. Nobody fucking told you that you can't do this or that because you're gay. Stop with this shit. They're my family too and when you tell people bad (untrue) things about them, it often comes back to me.

Also, I don't care if you like going downtown all the time and drinking. But, it frustrates me that I always make plans with you, and then at the very last minute you make up some stupid excuse along the lines of "I'm tired" or "I forgot I had to do this". Don't make plans with me if you have no intention of actually committing to them. OK? Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love you. We've been friends forever, I'm just getting really tired of your shit. I'm getting tired of trying to figure out what's true and what isn't and I'm getting even MORE tired of having to defend your shit. It's all going to come back and haunt you one day. Karma is a BITCH. Please wake up already. —Your Favourite Cousin

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