Go Buy a Nespresso Machine You Impatient Asshole

To the gentleman who kindly let me know I took far too long to make his double cappuccino at a certain bustling coffee shop this morning: Thank you so much for your "constructive criticism". I am so very sorry 8 people happened to walk in and order espresso drinks before you got your turn...oh wait...no I'm not, because planet earth revolves around the sun, not your all-important fucking schedule. Sure, your reaction would have been justified if my pace was hindered on account of me texting a friend, sipping my own cappuccino, standing around with my thumb up my ass, or any combination of those activities, but the fact remains that I was working as efficiently as I possibly could to get the orders processed and get everyone one their way. So just for future reference, we do in fact operate on a first come, first serve basis, JUST LIKE EVERYWHERE ELSE ON THE FUCKING PLANET and if you don't have time to wait, then go somewhere else or try making your own goddamn espresso at home. —Speedy Gonzales

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