Potty Training

To the douchebag with the high pitched possibly prepubescent voice who was harassing pedestrians on Herring Cove Road from what looked like a shitty dark green sunfire. I just wanted to explain to you why your life sucks so much flaccid dick. It's because you're an asshole, and being an asshole no matter how much shit you give out there's always more coming your way.

The thing is, the only somewhat respectable asshole is the one that can handle the shit it causes. They don't need to scream at pedestrians from a moving car because they can scream at them on equal ground and deal with the inevitable shit it causes. You can't, because you are a weak coward and terrified of people noticing. Instead, you desperately overcompensate for your insecurities by only harassing people who can't retaliate and thus don't run the risk of having that mess in your pants exposed. You drive away deluded, feeling like a winner when you were never even playing the game. Congratulations, you have failed at being a person.

Fortunately for you, you can gain back your self respect by finally learning how to wipe your own ass. You just have to start harassing people while you're both on equal ground. I'd be very interested to see how many people you could scream at in that shrill little voice of yours before getting that shit beaten right out of you, shit that you'll no longer be able to fling at unsuspecting pedestrians like a fucking monkey in a zoo. —Suck My Balls

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