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Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Get Stuffed

Posted on Tue, Oct 11, 2011 at 1:43 PM

It was supposed to be a Happy Thanksgiving. You came home from university with your new girlfriend, and we were keen to meet her. All that changed when we all sat down at the table to enjoy the turkey dinner and she began questioning and lecturing Mom:

“Do you have any tofu turkey or a vegan alternative? We don’t eat meat.” “Are these all organic vegetables? We only eat organic now.” “You shouldn’t eat meat,” Blah blah blah.

First, you’ve been dating my brother for 1.5 months and in that time you have brainwashed him. Before meeting you he ate meat like any normal person. He didn’t care if the vegetables were organic. Food was food. If it was delicious, he ate it.

Second, coming to OUR home as a guest does not give you the right to belittle my Mom. Turkey dinner for Thanksgiving is OUR family tradition. How are we supposed to know that you’re one of these PETA, Save The Earth, Organic fuckheads? I’m glad Mom didn’t cater to your whim. You on the other hand hurt her feelings and offended the rest of us. Now Mom, Dad, and I are going to do all we can to get you out of our brother/son’s life.

PS – Don’t think you’re invited for Christmas. —Gobble Gobble

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