Hey Bitchers, The Coast office will be on vacation from December 23-January 3. So, take a break, enjoy some eggnog, make merry and come back to bitch in the new year. No posts will be uploaded over the holidays! Sorry guys, even bitchers need a break once in awhile. —Bird

I wanted to wish a Merry Christmas to the driver and passengers of the #21 yesterday who neglected to offer up a seat when I limped painfully onto the bus at Bayers Lake with my toddler and stroller. I had torn my quadricep muscle minutes before when I lunged to stop my son from wandering into traffic (I get it: Bayers Lake is a death-trap to pedestrians, we won't be back), and I could barely walk. The only open space was at the bottle-neck, near the rear door, which forced new passengers to squeeze past us to find a seat or exit. I would have folded up the stroller to make space, if I hadn't been close to panicking about my injury, trying to keep my son calm, and figuring out how we were going to get home. Thanks, also to the passengers at the back of the bus who, evidently, didn't learn how to take turns when they were children, and opted to ignore me as they all departed the bus in a stream. Making us watch and wait until the bus was nearly empty did help in one way: it brought me in close proximity to the only caring person on the bus, who offered to help me lower our stroller to the pavement; something I wasn't physically capable of doing in my condition. So, with the exception of that single woman (who has the eternal gratitude of a mom in need), the rest of you can go to hell. Now I know what to expect from my fellow Haligonians. Fuck you. —Insult to Injury

So city planners make more sections of streets in downtown Halifax one-way, so traffic flows more smoothly... in theory. Yet with years of observations to draw on from Hollis Street, say, where two theoretical lanes are often just one, nobody has the balls to disallow parking on Water Street? Just a couple of months of evening rush hour, with the latest system, make it abundantly clear that for almost all of Water Street there is only ONE lane of traffic, and that's entirely because of people parked on the west side of that street, for the entire working day, pretty much for the whole length of it. So what improved exactly? Try precisely nothing. Maybe it's just me, but do the city staffers who propose these changes actually follow up to see what happens? I knew we were in some trouble, but if this is the calibre of our paid help, well... —What Was the Point?

If anyone happens to know the 5' tall fishwife on the #10 this afternoon, with scraggy red hair and a frozen look on her face like she bit into a lemon, please tell her her fireworks were misdirected. I told her I'm not Muslim and it's true - I haven't believed since I was 14. But that's hardly a reason not to expect a stranger to call you a 'muzzie piece of shit' and tell you to 'suck Allah's dick and harass women in your own country' for crossing your legs too far at a bus stop. I don't need to report her because she has fewer and unhappier years than I do. —Flabbergasted on Robie

To the bleached blonde woman driving the shiny gray Honda CRV through the Cogswell intersection this morning at 9am... fuck everything about you. You ACCELERATED through the pedestrian crossing, you were jabbering on your phone, and it didn't even cross your teeny brain to slow down as I waved my arms frantically. Oh, and, did you notice I was pushing my toddler in a stroller in front of me?? I wish I had gotten your license plate, but I was too busy protecting myself and my son. Late for work, by chance? Yeah, I was too. But I at least waited my turn. Get off your phone, and smarten the fuck up! —Why Do I Have to Risk My Life Walking to Work?

Why, oh why, must you occupy me now? It's mistletoe time and I am now forced to abstain. It was not you that I wanted to make me tingle. Now, my Christmas wish that you retreat quickly in hopes that I may experience that soft, sweet joy when the clock strikes 12. —Forced into Temporary Exile

Don't ask for honesty if you don't want honesty. "Give me your honest opinion" does not translate to "tell me exactly what I want to hear" except maybe when you're translating from English to Douchebag.

People go on and on about how they want the truth. But they do not. Perhaps it's a narcissism thing. Perhaps people honestly believe they are 12 times the size of god and have serious delusions that one's honest opinion about them or their shit will always be aggrandizing and fabulous. That if someone's honest opinion is negative, the only thing that could mean is that that person must be the biggest asshole on the planet. Instead of one of the honest few who will tell you your breath stinks when it does. Instead of punishing these people, you should value them. They're the only ones who will tell you what others laugh at behind your back. And believe me. They DO laugh behind your back. But you like them better because they have the connivance of character to lie to your face.

The worst thing about this is that the average person reading this will go "yeah.. YEAH! Fuck yeah!!" but at the end of the day, will get just as offended when a well-meaning and merciful friend tries to tell them that gladiator shoes give them cankles or that they are completely tone deaf and can't carry a tune. Or that they are behaving in an annoying fashion. Don't blame someone who wants to see you do better. Blame yourself for sucking. Do something about it and get on with your life. Thank them for having the courage and dignity to gently tell you instead of getting angry because you're not the rockstar you thought you were.

Or, you know, don't. And continue on blaming the doctor for the booster because the needle hurt. —Socrates

You were in that much of a rush you actually lunged at me with your car while I was in the crosswalk on Granville Street!!!! Glad to know chivalry is dead. I remember your face you ugly bearded bastard with your cheap sunglasses. Had I got your license plate, we would be having a much different conversation with our boys in blue. I hope you try this shit with some other chick that doesn’t freeze in panic and nails you for your stupidity. Merry Christmas loser! —Happy to Be Alive

I'm a virgin, I'm a virgin, I'm a virgin! I'm not ashamed of it. Being still young I don't think it's unreasonable to still be one. I just haven't found someone with who I'm comfortable. There's no issue with admitting it if asked, I've never lied or pretended to know things I didn't know. However, you think that it's ok to just you know let everyone (even people I've just met) in on the fact that I'm a virgin. We were playing drinking games and because it's you they're sexual, ok fine. This was what, our second drink of the night, you weren't drunk but insisted I drink from a penis straw. I said "no, that's ok" to which you shouted out "oh yeah! I forgot you're a virgin!" This isn't the first time you've done this. Little comments like "I just don't know how you can do it for so long with no sex blah blah blah".

I just consider some things personal, and this is one of them. Furthermore you never asked me, just assumed and I've never told you otherwise. Don't put my personal business out there. The second day we knew you were dating your new guy you told us "oh my God! He's a virgin! didn't know those still existed!" I don't need to know that...

I should put your shit on blast! God knows I have enough to say about you. You ragged on another friend who chose to lose her v-card to a guy she met at a bar one night. Said "I'd want it to be special, so disgusting, I don't know why she did that etc." who cares. I could just tell her about all your escapades which have been, by your own admission "crazy" and "bad". You know, you gotta stop telling me these things! You're just giving me ammunition and one day when you say something I might snap.

But I'm not going to put your shit on blast because despite all you've divulged it's not my place to tell your "secrets". This is anonymous and I can vent! I'll keep your business private, keep my lack of sex life to yourself! —Annoyed

I tell you to fuck off and not come to my shop anymore when you came around with another girl after essentially "fucking and chucking" me, as everyone puts it, and so your brilliant plan is to send girls 'round to fetch your sandwiches for you? Are you fucking thick? Do you just think I'm an idiot and that I will not notice? Again, FUCK OFF, you deadbeat loser. —Cannot Wait Until You Move