Southern discomfort!

I would like to send a huge fuck you to my former and supposedly clean lady friend who infected me with Chlamydia. Yes it was you because the only other suspect is my clean right hand. Maybe you got it from the endless list of friends with benefits or the southern gent who stuck his burrito in your taco. I should have just settled for tucking your curly head but my rich protein would have went to your thunder thighs (all about diet). Instead you are enjoying the downtown life with a mattress tied to your back leaving me embarassed and missing razor blades. Do the male population a favour and stay home with your 50 Shades and drawer full of sex toys! I would blow you a kiss but you know where my mouth has been! —No Speaka Inglis

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