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Friday, November 16, 2012

Snake food

Posted on Fri, Nov 16, 2012 at 11:39 AM

I am so irritated and annoyed with the ignorance of some pet owners. Yes, those frozen rats I buy at the pet store are for my pet snake. I only have to feed her and clean her turds once every two weeks. For a busy university student, she’s pretty much the best pet ever. So what’s the problem? The idiotic looks and indecent remarks I get when I’m picking up my snake’s lunch. I am just the cruelest person in the world for feeding her a “cute,” “fuzzy” little rat. We’ll listen here lady, if you’re not vegan, where does your food come from, dear virtuous honourable citizen? How disgraceful of me to feed my snake a rat that had a rapid instantaneous blow to the head immediately rendering it unconscious. But you, oh you’re a saint. Well you remember that bacon that was on your plate this morning? To get there, little mister piggy had his scrotum painfully slit with a razor blade and testicles ripped out by a human hand, all with no anesthetics at five days old. Oh, the brutality of a rat being exposed to CO2, also known as the best way to provide a quick humane death according to Stanford University. You remember that hamburger you had for lunch? That came from a dairy cow that had three calves in her lifetime, all taken away from her. She developed mastitis, now in agonizing pain, and extremely malnourished she gets ripped away from the only herd she ever knew. Stuck on a truck with cows she doesn’t know. She travelled over 10 hours not being milked or fed. Her udders becoming swollen red, as the infection goes untreated. She had to endure all this excruciating pain and distress. Just to meet her unkind faith, the hamburger on your plate. So before you so ignorantly judge what my snake eats, find out where the food you so eagerly gorge yourself upon came from. —Annoyed Snake Mom

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