To the North End catnapper, thanks so much for abducting my cat off the street today, ignoring the fact that she has a collar (a glamorous one at that) and is clearly not a stray. You claim you see her outside "24/7", she's a fucking outdoor cat you dunce. We never let her outside after dark or when the weather's really bad, so that's clearly a lie. You also claim that you couldn't get close enough to read her collar but you were able to carry her to the cat hospital? Right. She's energetic, and puffy and fluffy like a well-fed beast, you had no reason to be concerned. I don't need anymore terrifying calls from the cat hospital. Kindly mind your own business, we can raise my baby on our own. —Veronica and the Pigeons