Navy blues

Crossing the bridge the other day I spotted one of our Navy's submarines, surfaced in the basin like a giant black whale. One doesn't often witness submarines in their natural habitat, them being one of the world's most secret weapons, so I kept turning my head as I drove over. Then it hit me: that is one of those lousy, decrepit Victoria-class subs we got suckered into buying from the British. These white elephants have not provided one day of active service 4 years after we bought them, cost the life of one Canadian sailor who died when a fire broke out the first time we used them, and most depressingly of all appear to be in considerably worse condition that the sellers led us to believe. Adding to this malaise, was the wonderful odor of fuel permeating throughout North End Halifax Wednesday, when one of our frigates accidentally dumped its fuel into the harbour. Keeping our navy capable of defending our maritime sovereignty costs time and a lot of money. Perhaps our imperious government ought to rethink pointless entanglements overseas and extravagant stealth fighters and instead focus on securing our own coasts first. —Cap'n Crunch

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