Hygiene For Dummies

When you take your watch to a shop to get the battery replaced, would you please, please, pretty fucking please with cream and sugar, take a tissue and a bit of rubbing alcohol and clean the two years worth of dead skin cells, dried sweat, and congealed smegma off the back of it? PLEASE? I can't even believe how many of you people walk around every day with that kind of filth rubbing up against your skin, but that's your business. However, it forms an actual CRUST around the backplate of your watch which I have to scrape off in order to open the watch and change your battery, you filthy motherfuckers. Would you bring dirty clothes to a tailor to be altered? Would you go get a pedicure without washing your feet? For fuck sake. If you wear a watch every day, and you're not in the habit of cleaning it, take it off right now and look at the back of it, and ask yourself, would you want to touch it if it wasn't yours? —Watch Bitch

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