We really wanted to have a tiny little wedding. My parents, his parents, and my brother, sister in law and my nephews. but nope. Someone put it on Facebook. Well they didn't put it on Facebook "hey my friend ______ ________ is getting married, congratulations." But it was a little half assed, off the cuff, she's secretly 13 years old Facebook update "So A Certain cousin of mine is getting hitched, apparently no one is good enough to go to this wedding, but don't tell anyone because no one is privileged enough to be invited"
From the outside looking in, it looks like I am a selfish twat who wants all the celebration to myself. And it looks like I am embarrassed to have my family at social events. Well, yup. This is the family who does not posses indoor voices and everyone in the restaurant gets to hear about how the dog got the runs after eating garlic bread. So my new in laws, who are wonderful people are encouraging me to have a larger wedding so everyone can celebrate together. We have a 1000$ budget.
So my extended family is insulted. And this is after 4 years of living together, and in those years, I have received zero birthday cards, zero Christmas cards. and zero thank you's for the countless birthday and baby shower gifts I have sent out. So my family is now in world war three because after so long of not acknowledging me, They believe they are entitled to a huge party in their honour but on my dime. "weddings are a time for family celebrating" yeah, so was my college graduation that no one could be bothered to attend. And my 30th birthday that everyone had other plans for. The miscarriage and job loss I fought through alone. So what the hell are they entitled to?
So it was a 66 comment battle royale on my cousins facebook page on team me and team her. (Which I didn't not indulge in) and my phone has not stopped ringing. for the record: 86 texts about how selfish I am and 2 people saying congratulations _____ is a great guy, I'm happy for you.
What the hell do I owe these people? They are my family and I love them. I like being with my cousins, we are all adults now, I think the youngest cousin is out of high school now. But the cousin who started the fight is in her 40's.
My first wedding was a little bigger and these are the same "family" who were making bets on how long it would last. And when it ended and I was miserable watching his new girlfriend help him move his stuff out, I get a msn message (I know, msn) inviting me out as that friend won the bet, and wanted to buy me a drink.
All I know is that I love my fiance and he makes me very happy and I feel loved. That is really all I need. I shouldn't have to justify my decision to my family, they should accept my decision.
and even if they feel that they should be hurt or insulted, why not just come to me, instead of making it seem like I am doing something wrong by not throwing a huge over the top tacky wedding for people who have proven time and time again that they couldn't care less.
I am not indulging them, I am having my wedding and, so far: My budget of 1000 is seeming quite adequate as the license and Justice of the Peace are only 250 total. the cost for resizing an heirloom ring is less than 100. And I am going to be barefoot in a dress I made. So the difference is going to be donated to the IWK. Which my fiances aunt has agreed to match dollar for dollar. And I told the very few supporting family members the same, if they want to celebrate, they can make a donation as well to the IWK.
If I can't help my family see how love helps. Maybe another family can benefit instead. —Blushing Bride