Look, I understand it's a tough world out there. I get it. I don't make much money; hell, I probably make less than you. So why is it that you proceed to hound me (and every other customer) the second I walk up to the counter. You're not funny. You're not amusing anybody. You make people feel uncomfortable and awkward through what should be the very easy-going process of ordering a meal, and it makes it all the worse that you're eye-fucking my wallet for a tip the entire time.

Three times I've been to your restaurant. The second time I went, you frustrated me so severely with your behaviour that I swore not to return. Oh, but wait, your restaurant opened up a second location. "Yay," I thought, "I can go in peace not having to be concerned with your god-awful presence!" That was not the case. You were there, telling me some illogical story I didn't even understand and throwing in your occasional encouragement to leave a tip. Fuck you. I just want to eat a fucking gourmet burger with out having to see your face, and now I can't, because I refuse to have another conversation with you for the rest of my existence. I hate you. —A Guy Who Just Wants to Order his Burger in Peace