Ummm...ya, about that....

Crossing guard. Last week I sat at a light in traffic, and watched you puke all over the grass at 8:30 in the morning. Today I watched you take a piss against the tree and fence of the house at that corner, in the afternoon. Thanks for providing children lessons in uncontrollable and evacuatory bodily functions. I don't know, maybe I'm being a bit sensitive, but I'm kind of grossed out at the thought of you being around children. Who is responsible for the screening of these people? —Ewww-nest Hemingway

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