The Great Pumpkin Thief

I would love to extend a huge bitch to the dude who took and threw away my beloved pumpkin hat at the show this Thanksgiving. Little do you know, the hand-knit hat has huge sentimental value to me and I have been wearing it every Fall for four years. Although I may have looked like a pumpkin in the dance-pit-patch, I was not for the picking! Your small action meant to get humour out of someone else's sadness is disgusting. And really!? On Thanksgiving!? I'll be thankful when all the scumbags like you finally smarten up. —Smashed Pumpkin

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