Ornithology Studies - Saturday Evening Edition

The common college bird, formally known as the Studentus Universitatis Froshus, tend to gather in large flocks, as can be seen in the backyard nearby, and in other urban settings. The males of the species can be readily identified by their backward facing caps - similar to the black-capped chickadee - but are much larger in stature. They can also be identified by their guttural mating call , "Aaaaargh, Aaaaaargh, Aaaaaaaaargh", and their displays of overt masculinity. The females of the species tend to be, but are not necessarily, smaller in stature. They typically do not display the backward cap, and have a more piercing mating cry, "Eeeeeeeeee!, Eeeeeeee!, Eeeeeeeee!" The mating ritual begins around a fountain of liquid. Both members of the species can be heard to utter the common cry, "Chug, chug, chug" as they begin to satisfy their thirst. Once the males and females are sufficiently satiated the mating dance begins. The males posture for the females. The females strut for the males. Their cries grow louder and louder, "AAAAAARGH!, "EEEEEEEE" "AAAAAAARGH", "EEEEEEEEE". As the evening progresses many of the common college birds pair up for the night. The process escalates in proportion to the amount of liquid consumed. However, those who are unable to pair up eventually fly off to another watering hole sometime after night falls in the hopes of finding a mate from a different flock. This often results in competition and confrontation with other males and females competing for suitable mates. The mating calls of these hopeful birds can be heard well into the early hours of the morning: "AAAAAARGH", "EEEEEEEEE", AAAAAAAARGH", "EEEEEEEE". The unsuccessful birds eventually return to their nests before daybreak but they, and even some of the successful birds, will repeat the ritual the following weekend. —Full of beans

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