F U and your natural remedies

I read online about some DIY beauty tips. Use baking soda as a natural shampoo! It really clarifies, they said. Does it work? I wondered... Sure, if you want your hair to come out looking like a Brillo pad or a birds nest. Not the look I was particularly trying for.... so I tried another natural home remedy to counteract the dryness of my matted hair, use olive oil to deep condition, they said. I saturated my head with the stuff but I didn't stop there... I put it all over my face to penetrate deeply into my wrinkles (my face has been crack-a-lackin lately from the winter weather). The very next morning, a large angry whitehead had formed right on the tip of my nose! Of course I popped it, I couldn't just leave that giant pus-filled zit dangling threatening to erupt at any moment. After the squeezing, it didn't look too bad until I got to work....about 10:00 I took my morning piss break and caught my reflection in the mirror. OMFG, I didn't know it was possible for hair to be both dry and greasy at the same time. After all the squeezing that morning, my whole nose had turned angry red and bulbous like those good old boy drunks you see with their whiskey nose. No wonder my coworkers were looking at me funny! OMF! Never again with the DIY beauty remedies! "Natural beauty" is so not cute! —Pinterest victim

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