Dear Emporer of the Dartmouth Side Streets

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To the rancid bag of dicks who sped your van down my lane of traffic because yours was blocked off by parked cars, only to stop in front of me and not move when you (obviously) couldn't go further- fuck you. Fuck you for giggling with your buddy beside you as I waited in frustration for you to do the right thing and back up and get out of my lane. And fuck you for making me back up eventually. But especially, especially, from the bottom of my heart and soul, FUCK YOU for crawling your van beside my car and rolling down the window like we are going to have a chit chat about the whole thing. Unless you were about to tell me you were going home to punch yourself repeatedly in the face for the betterment of humanity there is literally nothing I want to hear from you. You are a shitty, entitled, self centered piece of shit and you broke my fucking zen. Eat spoiled mayonnaise. —If your spleen isn't exploding now I don't have telekenesis

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