Famers Market Douchebags

A special thank you to the hipster douchebag fuckfaces who have ruined the local farmers markets for regular people shopping for regular food. I don't want to hear live music at a volume more suitable for a bar. I don't want to be subjected to the stink from your organic, hand made artisan soaps and aromatherapy oils that somehow don't bother you even though you all seem to be scent sensitive or have that bullshit environmental illness. I don't want pastries and coffee I can make myself at home. I don't want to be crammed in unshaved armpit to runny nostril with parents waxing poetic about whatever makes them pretend to be fulfilled while they are ignoring their precious little monsters running around like mini terrorists. Move. You are blocking the fucking aisle. I want the beautiful fruits, vegetables and starter plants that I used to be able to buy from local farmers at a much lower price than the big retailers. But you assholes have fucked that up for everybody, too, because now all that stuff costs just as much, if not more, than it does at the corporate grocery store. Thank you so much for taking something local and pure and useful and turning it into another steaming pile of Halifax hipster crap. Fuck you, you fucking fucks. —hungry in Dartmouth

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