Hey Hey, Ho Ho, Chin Pubes have got to go!

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A lab in new mexico says "beards are as dirty as toilets", they are riddled with poop particles. Don't touch that, kiss that or let that fuzz face near you. These are the things that cause urinary tract infections. The spit and dirt stuck in your matted facial hair makes me want to puke. The news reports on this topic says they're loaded with bacteria and feces. "I have never seen a petri dish this color before" says microbiologists. "If these samples were similar to what we find in our water system, we would have to shut it down. Men you say you shampoo your disgusting fuzz face daily but if that is the case, why does it stink and not smell like shampoo. You need to lather that shit (literal shit) up with antibacterial soap, actually you need to do this after each meal. Perhaps this is why men have shorter lifespans - they're unhygienic habits catch up with them. Ladies, encourage your lazy men-child to shave and wash regularly. Look at all the crap women go through daily, tweezing brows, shaving bikini line, legs, arm pits, waxing mustache, shaving our big toes. The FUCKING LEAST you can do is weedwack that sesspool off your lazy ass face! —The Canadian Sphynx

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