Happily hopeless

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Is ignorance bliss? Not a lack of knowledge, not stupidity, but choosing to ignore. Does it bring bliss? I'm thinking it might. I think about this a lot because the BS of politicians, war mongerers, racists, haters of all types, polluters, animal abusers, people abusers and various offerings by assholes of all types doesn't bring anything to my life except a constantly present undertow of disgust. It's difficult to have ever present disgust. It sucks the fun out. And I see my share of kindness, hope and cute kittens on social media but it's not a matter of focus or "finding balance" because the truth is that all of the bad doings by bad people are killing / persecuting / hurting / silencing / polluting / generally shitting on the good people who do good. It's a severely stacked deck and I don't feel it's reversible. And the bad doers have much more money, power and influence. This is why the good guy wins in a movie. To escape the fact for 2 hours that he doesn't and never will in reality. Not in the long term in a big way. I look at the murder of the NS film tax credit - and jsut think about our political leaders. You stupid fucking asshole shit heads! Were your parents brother and sister? The only system, in terms of THE system, is a corrupt, sick and twisted one. And it's self policed. How does one retain hope for what is obviously un-hope-able? Like a lot of others I have a built in disgust of unfairness and assholeism. And sometimes I fight against it... sometimes think about fighting against it... always admire those who fight against it... but I really am leaning towards giving up. I'm 55 this year and genetics suggest I won't see 75. Twenty years max. 7300 days. 116,800 waking hours. Let's round it down at 100k. I have Netflix. And many of my waking hours have not been ANYWHERE as far as I wish they had been. If moments create days and days create years, how many more moments do I want to go on asshole watching and feeling disgusted. And momentarily kidding myself that I or a group I'm a part of, or a group that I'm not a part of will take back the world and make it nice. Stay here for a short time - gone forever. Which feelings will I fill my days with? Laughter, lust, curiosity, creativity, love... these are much better emotions to fill my moments and years with. (Noticed I did not use the word HOPE which has already been addressed. ) It's ironic in a way. In our youth we care just about ourselves. We then grow up and care about others. This particular caring - if gone unchecked - can fester and grow and create huge misery and frustration. Maybe self caring once again is the only way out. I'm half saying and half asking. It's hard not to relate to George Carlin; "I don’t have pet peeves — I have major psychotic fucking hatreds!" I'm not sure that is reversible either. —Scotty 2 Hottie

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