Pure Evil

Dear guy sitting in the aisle seat, protecting the single solitary fucking seat available on the entire bus: Seriously dude? There are five of us standing. Don't pretend you don't realize it. Just keep staring at your phone and tweeting off, and liking stories about mass murder and natural disasters and Justin Bieber. Clearly you lack the capability to feel. Also, the idea of society means nothing to you. Looking at your hideous face makes me think that you would be a strong argument for bringing back public stonings. When you finally do look up and meet my glare for a split second, I am amazed to see that your eyeballs are not all-black. Despite this, I am positive that you are a demon, sent by Crowley, to remind everyone that evil is indeed still alive and well. I imagine there is a sizeable roster of you taking shifts on all the busy buses in the city wearing the douchiest of smirks. I am exercising the utmost restraint to keep from going Sam and Dean on your nefarious ass right now. Hey, there's another bus that's leaving town in a few minutes. Do me a favor? Be under it. Prick. —The Giz

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