Water on Mars? Give me a break!

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Earth has way more water than Mars, plus our moon is bigger than your two stupid tiny moons. Like what, a few hundred kilometres in diameter? Pathetic! So now it turns out there is flowing water? BIG DEAL! We've had flowing water for billions of years —you know what else we've had? OCEANS, motherfucker—with tides and shit. But oh noooo, "Look at me, I'm Mars. I have small amounts of water that flow sometimes depending on the time of year. I'm such a magical gem." You think you’re so special, but guess what? You are just a shitty red pile of rocks populated by robots. And you have tiny moons. —Earth is better than your stupid lame Martian ass

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