That was me that left a roll of pennies in your coffee shop tip bowl this past Thursday morning. Because you only gave me bills in return from my $20 and I felt a $5 tip on a $5 moccacino would be pushing the limits of my appreciation, I scrambled through my pockets in search of change, only to find a dime and a roll of pennies I was going to take to the bank on my next visit, both of which I put into your bowl. So imagine my surprise when, while waiting for my beverage to be made, I heard you disdainfully alert your coworkers about your monetary finding. The three of you Paul Bunyan look-alikes sighed, rolled your eyes and complained about your findings as though someone had just pissed on your grandmother's grave. First of all, it's still money. Second of all it was rolled. Thirdly, you're within spitting distance of two fucking banks. And lastly, you launched into your medley of ingratitude without any thought to the fact that the depositing customer might be within ear shot. I was trying to be courteous. You were imperious and rude in return. Next time, I won't bother leaving a tip at all. In fact, there won't be a next time. You can GFY. —Juan Valdez

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