Wishful thinking opportunist

You said you were coming over and bringing drinks. You bring a SIX PACK of beer for both of us to share. Wow, how will I ever contain my excitement! A whole three beers! I barely even caught a buzz, you cheapo! Sober as a judge on a Friday night. BUT you made sure to buy a TWELVE pack of condoms! Needless to say, they went unopened. You're a fuckin’ piece of work, man. You're cute, but you're not THAT cute. —Gone Downtown, Thanks for the Rubbers

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