When you're a plus-sized woman whose casual encounters numbers are a hell of a lot higher than the serious relationships score (and not by your choice), you begin to accept whatever you are able get out of the people that you're into, but claim they're only looking for something casual. Then a few weeks/months pass by and they’re in a serious relationship with some chick half your size. Sounds quite pathetic of me, I know. How’s that saying go? “You only accept the love you think you deserve”?
Well, girl, when the only form of love you’re getting is behind closed doors, you either need to deal with the emotional hurt and enjoy what you do get or sit alone in your bed for hours watching the same damn Netflix shows over and over again.
And when I say plus-sized, I'm not talking in the “big tits, big ass” way or even in the chubby in the right places, got a bit of a belly type. I'm talking chubby in all the "wrong" places, small tits, small ass, big belly type. Don’t get me wrong, I love the current body I have and I’m comfortable in my own skin and work towards being the best damn me I can be. But, there are still quite a few people who haven't been able to accept me for who I am. People that don't even play a part in my life, but feel the need they have to. Anyway, that's a whole other jar of pickles that doesn't need to opened right now.
I’m not saying that everyone has to be attracted to the plus-sized body type. We all have our own preferences, traits, interests that we look for in people. I would never think less of anyone that didn’t want to date me due to my body type, I’m sure there’s something about them that could be a deal breaker for me as well. What I'm talking about are the ones that are sexually attracted to you and have expressed and shown this, but are scared to admit it either themselves or others.So, they want to keep you as their dirty little secret. Whatever the reasoning behind it, it doesn’t feel too damn good.
The only explanation I've been able to come up with is that, of course, they’re not going to want to show off someone like me to their friends and family. Most people consider their partner as a type of ‘prize’ for all to see. Especially in heterosexual relationships, women are famous for being the ‘pretty thing' on the man's arm. Well, when the only 'pretty thing' the mass majority of people will see on your girl is her personality and maybe some of her facial features. You don’t get very far.
I know some of you could be thinking “Wow, that sucks. People shouldn’t care what others think if they’re into someone,” cliché saying, etc, etc. But let's get real, people. Talk is cheap. I have been in the dating world too long to try to hide behind it any longer. Sure, it’s gotten a lot better over the years. People are definitely more accepting and open than they used to be, but it’s still a mess out there.
So, for all of you who have fell victim to this: You’re not alone. For all of you who have just realized how you might be making people feel, go suck an egg. You knew what you were doing, no one can be that oblivious. —Fatty With No Daddy